I cannot believe I am sharing this with you. But I guess if you’re reading this, I went through with it. Something happened last night that moved me to a new level of “real runner.” For the record, I don’t distinguish between a runner and a jogger or someone being a “real runner.” If you run, you’re a runner. That being said, I crossed into a new level of runner last night. You’ll understand in a minute. Don’t worry, there are no pictures.
Last night I had a pretty good 8 mile run. The weather was nice and cool (upper 50’s) and my legs felt alright. My pace was steady and everything was going well until about mile 1.5, when I suddenly had to go. Unfortunately, on this stretch of trail there is nowhere to go. You’re right next to a road and then you go by a water treatment facility. But I have a spot at mile 2 where I can safely drop trou without being arrested for indecent exposure. But last night I did not make it, and my running shorts were the casualty.
I was mad. It’s not like I was being stubborn and trying to make it to a brick and mortar bathroom, or even a porta potty. I just wanted to get somewhere that people driving on the road couldn’t see me. This is the first time this as ever happened to me. I’ve had some close calls in the past, but I’ve always been able to at least make a mad dash to a bush or tree. I guess it was bound to happen eventually if I ran long enough.
On a lighter note, once that awful incident was over the rest of my run went well. Around mile 4, something in the brush along the trail startled me (probably a deer). My automatic response when I get startled is to immediately clench both of my hands into fists. However, that doesn’t work out well when I have a handheld 20 oz water bottle in my right hand. And in this particular case my water bottle happened to be open, so I sprayed myself in the face. Messed shorts, sprayed in the face with my own water bottle…. definition of a good run, right?
The sun set with about 2.5 miles to go and I kicked it into high gear because I am scared of the dark and definitely do not want to be out on a trail by myself. High gear translated into a 9:46 last mile. In retrospect I’m not sure why it felt like I was sprinting.
I’m not even sure what questions to ask, because a lot of you are probably pretty uncomfortable at this point due to my over-sharing (sorry Dad). I hope I didn’t gross anyone out, but if I did I’m sorry. Come back tomorrow, I promise things will be back to my usual rambling randomness from my day.
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I thought of a question! If you had an accident while running, would you tell your significant other?
I had to, because Barry had dinner on the table when I got home and I had to explain why I had to take a shower first.
Turkey Runner 
This hasn’t actually happened to met YET, but I have definitely had some close calls! There’s a VERY popular bike path – actually, you probably know it from your dad – the W&OD trail – and I had to drop trou once behind some bushes that were not taller than I was while squatting once. I unfortunately came across a real bathroom half a mile later. Although, to be honest, I laughed really hard (out loud) when I read the part about spraying yourself with your water bottle and then being afraid of the dark. It just sounds like one of those runs where I would have been like “I just can’t win…”Way to stick with it, though =). And honestly and “over-sharing” is what makes blogs relateable because, really, we have all been there in one way or another.
I do know the W&OD and have run on it a handful of times. At least you found some bushes! Of course there was a real bathroom a half mile later :)I’m glad the water bottle incident made you laugh! That’s why I shared it. I did laugh at myself when it happened (once I was sure nothing was getting ready to attack me).
Oh dear, I am so sorry you had to experience that! I always seem to (just barely) find the right place at the right time. I can’t believe you went through all of that and can still call the run a success! Good attitude!
I guess I just have a sunny disposition 🙂
Can I tell you how much I LOVE you for sharing this with us? You are one beautiful bada$$! Sorry it happened to you, but I’m glad you have such a good attitude about it. My husband and I have been on enough long runs together – and had to make enough unscheduled stops – that everything is out in the open.
Hahaha, thanks! When something like that happens, what else can you do except carry on?
Wow. You can’t even believe the self control you are witnessing while I write this. So many great openings, but I won’t pounce too hard. Just one comment – you peed on me more than once! And remember the lights always on for you (and your sister).LUD.PS – Logan, that was you on the W&OD?
Sorry about peeing on you…. but you were the one in charge of house breaking. So it was kind of your fault. 😉
Wow. You are brave. It happened to me once when I was in high school. I never told a soul. Until now 🙂
Glad I could bring out a confession 🙂 Promise I won’t tell.
Meagan, I feel that we are now truly running sisters! The stories I could tell… And I’m sure that by now you’ve figured out that with my third grade potty humor, I would share every gory detail with my poor hubby.
Running sisters! Poor Bill… such is the life for the spouse of a runner.
Hahahaha oh Meagan! I was curious what made you think you were a “real” runner now! As with the other commentors/runners, i have done this before too! One of my friends from cross country used to do it before races a lot too…when you gotta go you gotta go!
I will wear the badge of “real runner” with pride. And aside from the entire internet, I will not be telling a soul how I earned my badge.
Oh, dear. Well – consider it a running badge of honor! And kudos for sharing. Sharing is caring….[And, I will admit that whenever I read stories like this, I give huge thanks for having a generally agreeable digestive system. There have been some close calls here and there, but I have yet to have too serious of an ‘incident’…]I’m with Logan: bathroom incident + water bottle spray (I’ve done this with a bottle that has been pressurized by a Nuun tablet) + dark = All kinds of mental training. Way to soldier through!
As I said to Becky, I will wear my badge with pride! Funny you used the phrase “soldier on.” As I was hauling butt to get back to the truck once it got dark outside my mantra was “I got soul but I’m not a soldier.” It’s from a song, and it didn’t mean much to me except something to keep my mind off of the dark.